Christmas with Ky Bear

Ky was sick this Christmas but it didn't stop him from being adorable. He recieved lots of toys,books and clothes. He is thoroughly spoiled.

It's been a while

I am partly blaming my lack of posts on my busy life an partly on the fact that I have been lazy.

Kyson is now 7 months old.

He is using a sippy cup, feeding himself crackers, sitting up, crawling, getting into things... He is so precious (says the proud mommy). I am sitting here while Daddy is giving him a bath. Here are a few pics to enjoy.

Mommy is getting a better digital camera for Christmas... this should be fun!

5.5 months old

Kyson has discovered the use of fingers... he easily grabs whatever is within reach... My dangly earrings, Aunt Kandis's long hair...

He can sit up with a little help. He grins at his favorite Einstein characters... He cand turn all the way around in his ExerSaucer. He loves to eat. He tries to mimic me when I talk and even tries to sing along.

He spent two buzy weekends in Munday the last of September. Now we are finally about to wear some of his cutest cold weather clothes. I can't believe he is changing so fast.

I have been a part of Mops for a couple of months now... That is pretty cool. Still trying to juggle everything... Design stuff, work, exercise, prayer, housework, friendships, family, marriage and all that...

Here are some pics of my super cute boy.

So Busy... more pics...few words

So Much Going on

Well, this month has started off like a horse race. First of all, Kyson turned four months old on the 30th of August. He also had his four month appointment and he is a whopping 15 lbs. 6 oz.
He is doing great.

Also, my birthday was the 3rd and I turned another year old but I refuse to acknowledge that I am really THAT old. I am now older than Jesus ever made it. So Jesus was a youngster when He died and came back and all that. Well, I guess He's eternal and so that makes Him infinitely older, but you know what I mean...

Also, my sister, Kandis, and my brother, Will, moved in across the street and that is great fun all around. We are really enjoying them.

Then, there is the usual business including MOPS, lunches with pals, garage sales, emails, blogs, dogs, goldfish, showers, trips to visit family, house work and of course my part-time job for the church. So life is a colorful swirl of activity. But, the absolute best of all is Ky Time.

I like the way he shreiks and squeels. I like it when he is grumpy and fussy. I like it when he smells stinky. I like it when he smiles at me even with my hair in a ponytail and no make-up.
He is truly the most delightful thing in the world. When I put him down to sleep at night, I get a little sad that I will have to wait until the morning to cuddle him agian. Yes, I really do like motherhood so far...

My Little Ky Baby

Well, Ky has been changing every day it seems. He smiles all the time and makes little shrieking noises instead of giggling yet. He is right on track with his milestones…

He is still sleeping almost 11 hours per night.

He is eating solids 3 times a day!

He loves “nanas and peaches”

We hit a big garage sale this weekend and he got a bouncy thing that hangs in the door.

He has clothes for the whole first year of life and then some.

But, the neatest thing of all is that GOD is GOOD.

Man, my heart leaps when he looks at me with “that” look…you mom’s know what I mean. Wow, I love this kid.

Poem for Ky

Kyson, you are very small
And I wonder what you see.
Do you know that you're wanted
And that you belong to me?

When you get big and I am old
Will you remember when
We sat and rocked for hours?
Am I your first best-friend?

I will keep you safe and calm
Inspite of scarey things
I will try to teach you love and hope
And give your wishes wings.

When we play and clap our hands
Can you see it in my face,
That no matter what you do in life,
With us you have a place?

Now, you weren't born to
Simply be our baby evermore.
You have certain destiny
that is out beyond my door.

Till then I'll love you thick and strong
So you will never doubt
Then, you can pass love on again
That's what it's all about.

A Wider Vision

Now for months all posts have been baby and pregnancy related. But, after visiting a few other blogs, I feel the need to write about life in general a little more. So here is my first non-Ky based article...

What bugs me...

I have a few peeves and here is my list...

1. People who drive 20 miles below the speed-limit. I have a patience problem and I quickly loose my cool when granny or whoever decides to drive 30 infront of me from B.G. all the way to Abilene. I know it sounds harsh but I think the AARP is secretly conspiring against the younger generation. I think it is pay-back for the invention of rap and punk music. They also think it's fun to see us pass them and give that certain perturbed look that we can give the slow driver as we pass. I think they brag about how many "birds" and dirty looks they get each week down at the Rose Park senior citizens center. I never flip the "birdie", but in my heart I get quite near. And this is why there is no fish symbol on my car.

2. Products packaged in hard clear plastic. You know, the kind that batteries come in... They also package everything from steak knives to Polly Pockets in these. Who has ever been able to open one of these without grabbing a sharp and dangerous knife from the kitchen drawer. I have nearly dismembered myself on several occasions... You would think they could make these easier and less life threatening to open.

3. Dollar Generals. Okay, they used to be cheap. Now they are often more expesive that stuff from Target and Wal-Mart. The stuff is poor quality and the signs are big and yellow eye-sores. They just look cheap! If they are going to build a new store in a nice neighborhood you would think that they would consider the trashy pressence they bring... I know I sound snooty, but I hate Dollar Store's logo. (I am a graphic designer so I am easily frustrated by tacky signage)

4. "Christian" advertising. It is one thing to attract attention to God through creative avenues but it's a whole new thing to use Jesus to market a business. No kidding, just the other day I heard a radio commercial that advertised for "God's Hand's" lawn care service and they actually said "( blah, blah, blah something about yard services) and we committ to do everything with a Christ-like attitude" Hello, do you really need to advertise that?! If you have a business that is called God's Hands ( I even think that is very close to pretentious) do you really need to tell people that? It's like the song by Michael W. Smith, "For the world to know the truth, there can be no greater truth than to live the Life...". Come on people. It is one thing to work as unto God. It is a whole other thing to use God as a mascot for a business scheme. I am all for Christian businesses. I do choose a Christian owned business more times because I want to support my brothers and sisters in Christ. However, we need to stop marketing an packaging self-determination by USING God. It is shameful. We should be more careful with His name.


I have a whole lot more to complain about... I know that complaining is bad. But, I know how few actually read my blog and so this is mostly for the only eyes that will see it...MINE.

Venting complete for now.

A Glimpse into the Future?

Please post your comments!

3 months old today...

Kyson gave his parents a great birthday present....

He slept through the night.

9 pm to 6:30 am.

I has been a good day...

Look at my boy!

click on the pic for a close up of Ky-bubby

From Skinny-Ky to Chubby-Bubby

Two more pics...

Sleeping like a baby?

Kyson is really doing well in the milestones department. He is right on or a little ahead in this area except for a few like giggles and sleeping through the night. I have looked at the two opposing views on this (sleeping) and I have derived that neither is really all that.

Babywise says to let a baby cry. Others say to stay in the room and pat him. Then even others say that keep a good schedule and babies naturally start sleeping more at 3 months--I pray this one is right.

Wes and I have been up late, later, earlier, and early either waiting out a longer fussy spell with guilt or feeding him every two hours... (he is due for a big growth spurt at 13 weeks) We have tried keeping him up more during the day, making him take more naps during the day, feeding him formula at bed time, letting him cry a little, and also rocking, baths at bedtime, and so on.




My conclusion is that he eventually will get really tired of us and sleep through the night to avoid his over concerned parents who may put a little to much stock in so called "milestones". By the way, he isn't 3 months old quite yet.

As for giggles... he's holding out only because he likes seeing us make a fool of ourselves trying to force a laugh. He secretly holds back just to make us work for it.

Also, the biggest hit of the day is bathtime followed closely by banana baby food (homemade of course). yes, I know that he is supposedly too young but his doctor suggested it and my boy can polish off a whole container in no time.

So, maybe it's like Mamaw says, babies do come with instructions... mommy's instincts. Isn't that how God kinda made it?

Super Smiley

Another random cute one!

Random Cute Picture

Mamaw made the bear, Will brought Bevo, God made the "doll"

Fourth of July and Ky

Ky and his older cousin, Brenden Underwood, 27 days apart.

We went to see some family this weekend and took some more pictures of Ky... Imagine that!

Here are a few... My mom got some great ones that I will post soon.

Also, Kyson spent night number two in his crib-- in the other room! Easy on him, harder on mom and dad. Dad and Uncle will are trying to indoctrinate my son to love UT. Wes and I have no preference on teams but feel like pushing A&M just for the sport of it... We are pulling more for Wheaton or Baylor actually.

Happy Birthday Pictures!

Here are some more pics of Ky. He is 2 months old today!

Centennial Weekend in Munday

This past weekend we all went to my hometown to take part in the 100 year birthday of Munday Texas. My mom, Karen Longan, was the writer/director of the centennial musical and she and my dad served as the chairmen of the centennial committee. It was a hectic weekend including all kinds of activities including a brisket feed by the Munday Fire Department (my dad is the Fire Chief), a dedication, a show, and a street dance among other things...

The play was great fun and our entire family had roles including Kybear. Here is a picture if us in costume. The guy and little boy on the far left are Moonie and Towns, his son. Moonie came in from Austin to meet the family. I am afraid he saw our loonie side. Towns had a big time and even got a real fireman hat and rode a pony and took a ride in a firetruck.

Even my grandmother and great aunt were in the play. The muscial told the story of a divided town in the early 1900's that was literally moved together-by a team of horses. The play was historical but my mother added a love story, music, poetry and depth by mixing actual historic characters with fictious characters with names from our family( Tommie Mae, Billy Barlow, Little Will, Sonnie Boy, etc). There was a stage coach, horses, bar fights, a tornado, and an a UFO sighting ( just kidding... nothing ever happens on mars) It was agreat success but Dr. Phil stiffed us all. Darn you Phil McGraw, you will go to a very, very dark cave where none of your friends are.

Ky was 8 weeks on Sunday and weighs about 11.5 pounds now. Here are some pictures of him in the adorable outfit given by Aunt K-K and Aunt Andy.

Closing out the second month...

Talk about changes...

At the beginning of the month, Ky was still pretty tiny. He cried and fussed a bit more than we expected but lately he has grown comfortable with his little "routine". He is smiling more and seems interested in the world around him. He seems much bigger and I am constantly discovering clothes that he has already outgrown.

But, Iam REALLY falling in love with my baby. I know it would seem like I fell in love with him a long time ago... and I did. I have loved Kyson as much as I could. However, I am speaking of something totally different. Before now, I honestly must say that my LOVE for Ky was as much as it could be. But, I could only love as big as my understanding would allow. Like a vessel, my ability to love is growing, I have been expanded and my heart has more room for love now. When he was merely a positve pregnancy test to me, I loved him maybe a dixie cup. When he was first born, I loved him as big as a barrell. And now, I feel like a lake. Instead of filling up, my heart expands as revelation comes to me. It gets deeper and wider ...and softer.

Then, on this other level, another change has happened in me. My anxiety has started to go away. All the worries about being a mother, Ky's happiness, his health, my house, our financial future, and so forth have really prevented me from really getting "it." My fretting prevented me from REALLY seeing this miracle clutching at me, staring up at me, smiling at me.

I have learned that in order for me to love Ky the way he needs to be loved, I need to forget about the "noise"and just be...

...just be there to stare at his fuzzy little head when he is sleeping

...just be there to to rock him and hold him as long as he wants

...just be there sing to him, read to him, play with him, and tell him I love him everyday

...just be there to watch him grow and learn and try and fail and win and loose...

--I must be his calm and safe place.

Raising my son isn't a list of "things to do" or a schedule of feedings and nap-times. It is something deeper, richer, and subject to no certain parenting philosphy. I have finally stepped through the fog...

I really love this baby boy of mine.

Not taking it personally...

My baby, Kyson, has a way of crying that sounds like he is scolding us... sort of a "ugh...ugh...agh...agh..." sound. He also has this "hee-hee"breathing thing that sounds like he is winding up for a howl. When he does howl, it sounds like a blood-curdling war cry and he punches and kicks like Jackie Chan... Of course the quivering chin makes it all very cute...



Somedays, after hours of this, it can seem like he very much hates the world and is demanding to be held just so, and walked for a while... A parent with no sleep (that's me) must pray...

It's hard not to take it personally if you can't see past the moment.

I have had a hard time seeing past the moment.

I can't see all the giggles and smiles and gleeful runs to Mommy right now. All I know is that when Baby ain't happy, Mommy ain't at peace.


Luckily, I am not dealing with colic or true distress...just a cranky little boy with a lot of spirit. We named him Kyson because we believe he is a little fighter. (Kyson means courageous leader.)
And he is certainly on track to fulfill that order--it seems he has a little bit of a strong-will.

During these times of overwhelming fatigue, it's great to have a husband who will step up and rock him, change him, let me sleep, feed him, pray over him, and best of all-Wes isn't at all thrown by his bouts of fussiness. He is the best new father I have ever seen. And, I am truly blessed... and Kyson is too... Otherwise all he would see somedays is a crying mommy!

Oh yeah.. here are the AMAZING ANTS, Andrea and Kandis, back in town to visit the Ky.

Week of Firsts...

Ky and I are doing this new thing...
I put him down and then he cries
I pick him and all is right...
If I am lucky, I call fool him into sleeping somewhere else besides my arms...but never more than 15 mins. at a time...

Thus, the reason for the negtlected blog...

Among other things...

Ky is already ahead of the class! He is reaching baby milestones left and right. This week he:

turned over

started "razzing"

learned to put both hands to together
raised his head off the floor at a 45 degree angle
and best of all---HE SMILED FOR REAL! Wow, so cool.

also Wes said he giggled but i don't believe it.

Below is how I have to work on my computer... Ky bear in my lap.

On Being a Mom...

I have been a real momma for 5 weeks and I am still trying to wrap my brain around it.

After years of habitual me-centeredness and people-pleasing, it's hard to let my self believe that spending time with Ky is most important... even more important than a spotless house.

I like being a mom, eventhough I don't really know if I am doing anything "right"

I like being a mom, because it changed my whole brain when Ky was born. The world seems way different... and it is worth being tired and having stretch marks.

I like being a mom because I am beginning to understand my mom a little better now...

I like being a mom because I won't feel dumb about renting all those cool animated movies that I have missed over the last few years.

I like being a mom because I will get to discover the whole world all over again... the taste of ice cream... the smell of coffee... the sensation of riding a merry-go-round... Christmas.... through little Ky's eyes.

I like being a mom because my Mom is has more interest in the "goings on" here in BG than before.

I like being a mom, because of the way he already has begun to look at me...

One Month Old!

Here we are at my due date and celebrating his one month birthday! I am so glad that I had a short cut!
Carebear and Chief came over on Sunday to sort of celebrate, but Kyson was real sleepy the whole time... but, he had his picture taken again nevertheless...















It was MY due date but my friend Karen took it instead. She had her baby girl, Bella Kay (7 lbs 13 oz), also at 36 weeks, also at the same hospital, and also after about 5 hours of labor (Karen and I used to share the same office).

HOWEVER, Karen had an epidural... and she said it was heavenly...

Here is a pic of Ky-bubby with his dad. Both birthday boys and both enjoying one of Daddy's birthday gifts- another book!