What Not to Say...

• 
  Time for a little ranting...
  
  This is for all you family members, co-workers, and well-meaning friends out there who might come in close proximity to another Preggo Momma...
  
  Be mindful of your mouths... because the pregnant woman smiling back at you is probably on the verge of tears.
  
  For one thing, no matter how big she looks to you, you NEVER need to point this out. Between the scales at the doctor's office, the clothes that are too tight and the general swelling that
  happens, chances are she is not only aware, but silently dreading every public encounter--including contacts with close relatives.
  
  And just because a Preggo Mommy is joking about her size, doesn't mean that you join her. This is a defense that is trying to say, " I am really feeling unattractive, but I want you to be comfortable with me. I am NOT comfortable myself. I am horrified."
  
  So here are the latest comments that have come to me in first person or via story in our water aerobics class...
  
  "My G-d, you must be at least forty inches in the waist!"
  
  "Are you sure there aren't two in there?"
  
  "I wanted to ask you, how much have you gained? How do you deal with that?"
  
  And then there are those stupid men out there...
  
  A preggo friend told me how after discovering her pregnancy that she and her husband discussed their fears concerning parenthood and upcoming challenges. My friend voiced that she was a little afraid of loosing her identity, and of course, she was concerned about the health of her unborn child. Her husband voiced that he was most afraid of her getting stretch marks and "letting herself go".
  
  He is the same guy who cringes at the sight of his wife's changing body and is always on her to "use that stretch mark cream."
  
  Instead of being a complete idiot, why not think before you speak? Here are some things you can do instead of making her feel terrible.
  
• Point out that any physical sacrifice (stretch marks, extra lbs, so forth) are worth it. Motherhood makes us beatiful.
  
• Don't ridicule her appetite or choice of foods.
  
• Don't say anything about how large she is
  
• Don't ask her about her weight
  
• Be kind and sensitive.
  
• Don't mother smother her ( she needs support and encourangement, not baby talk)
  
• Do things for her, like open the door, offer to run an errand or two.
  
• Insist that she rest.
  
• Don't tell her delivery room horror stories.
  
• Don't compare her to any other preggo you see--especially the ones on TV...

AND AS A GENERAL RULE, MEN SHOULD NEVER COMMENT ON THE SIZE OF ANY OTHER WOMAN IN THE PRESSENCE OF A WOMAN.

I don't care of the woman in the room is a Tyra Banks, when you mention the heaviness of any woman, you reveal how shallow you are. And it is impossible for any woman to ever feel really loved or accepted once you show her your cards. Don't be suprised if she doesn't want to be around you anymore. Once in a church service, I was sitting behind a very handsome college guy who had left his bible open on the seat. I couldn't help noticing the words "WHAT I WANT IN A WIFE" scribbled on a make-shift book mark lying on the page. The list read something like, " 1. Christian 2. No fatter than 120 lbs, 3. Perfect teeth..." I immediately knew the guy in front of me was a complete Bozo. I started praying that God would not let him date anyone. This guy was an episode of Dr. Phil waiting to happen!

So guys, if you have those small minded cards in your hand...remember "You gotta know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em..."

NOTE TO WOMEN: DON'T EVEN GIVE A SECOND GLANCE TO ANY MAN WHO TALKS A LOT ABOUT YOUR BODY OR ANYONE ELSE'S BODY (INCLUDING HIS OWN.) HE IS VILE AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED LIKE BLACK DEATH.

By the way, my husband is NOT one of those that says hurtful things. In fact, I feel more beautiful in his eyes than I have since we were married. I know he sees the flaws and changes in me, but he is wise enough to look past it all and appreciate the changes taking place in our hearts. He loves this little boy in me, and he loves me for giving him a child. A stetch mark is a small price to pay for the joys and adventures that lay ahead for us a new little family.