Week 35 and Contemplating...

So, here we go. Today was my last regular appointment before my "weeklies" begin. My nursery is nearly done, I am planning on packing my suitcase next week, and both me and the baby seem to be right on track for a late May date with destiny...

I am ready.

However, during the last few weeks I have begin to worry that maybe I am a little obsessed with pregnancy. I wonder if my family is truly interested in the number of antacids I ate today. I wonder if my husband is really listening as I read to him aloud the chapter on breastfeeding. I am fully aware that there is no way they find these details as interesting as I do, but nevertheless, it's what is in my head-all the time!

I am beginning to wonder if there is really anything else in the whole worth contemplating besides babies and birthing babies, and feeding babies, and teaching babies, and baby names...

(Sure, I am aware that there is a war going on, and that a bunch of people are upset about immigration reform, and so on.) Really, I am truly concerned about the world at large and all the horror and beauty co-mingling everywhere. I mean it.

But who could blame any preggie for being a little "baby/pregnancy centric"? Especially for a first child, I mean, next time it will be 'old hat', right?

But for now, how can I not be in a constant state of awe?

How terrible for me to not recognize what a brief and strange time this is.

My favorite quote about being a mom is this: To choose to be a mother is to forever have your heart go on walking around outside your body."

Something about that quote scares me...

My cousin Brandi who had her baby 2 weeks ago says she misses being pregnant a bit. She used the word "alone" to describe having her body all to herself. I think she is lonely in her body a little... I think I will relate.

But for now, I am not alone in my body. An unpredictable little spirit will be born in an unpredictable way and live a life that I can neither control nor plan.

Wow!

I will not apologize for being too wrapped up in this process.

In just a few days, it will be over. I will but down my pregnacy guides and pick up parenting books. I will pack away my maternity clothes and try to squeeze back into my regulars. The late night gymnastics in my belly will be over, and a whole new sort of life will begin...

Another favorite quote: "90 percent of the world is asleep, the rest live their lives in a constant state of amazement"

My wish is to be amazed, be passionate, be aware in whatever stage of life I am in.

I will savor this time and whatever comes next...

Even if it makes me a little irritating.